Saying Goodbye
by plurabelle
Summary: Zoe after Serenity. Spoilers for the film.


**Title:** Saying Goodbye

**Fandom:** _Firefly_

**Characters:** Zoe/Wash, Mal

**Rating:** PG

**Word Count:** 792

**Author's Note:** I don't own these people. They belong to the glorious genius that is Joss Whedon. They just take over my imagination every once in a while.

Zoe lifted the box, and placed it on top of the others in the back of the closet. She had put off doing something about Wash's things for too long. It had to be done.

"Need some help?" She turned to see Mal leaning in the doorway, his arms crossed over his chest.

"I'm just about done Cap'."

He began to move towards her, saying "I can put those boxes..."

"I'm fine, really. Nearly done." She continued folding a black shirt, and placed it in the empty box sitting on the bed.

There was a moment of silence, before the Captain continued. "Zoe...I know how hard this must be for you. It's only been a couple of weeks..."

"Frankly sir, " Zoe snapped, throwing aside another shirt, and turning to face him. "You don't have a rutting idea what i'm going through right now."

Mal looked at the floor...not sure what to say. He didn't want to push her. She had been emotionless since her husband had been killed right before her eyes, and he had no idea how she was managing to keep it all inside. He wanted to be there for her, but she was right...he couldn't expect to know what she was feeling.

"I'm sorry." he said at last. "I'll back off." he turned to go, then stopped...looking back at her and adding. "We all miss him, Zoe."

She closed her eyes, as she heard him walking away. She ran her hands through her hair, and sighed deeply. Collecting herself, she continued packing.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

She made her way, silently to the one place she hadn't been to since that day. She saw the chair...his chair, facing out towards the stars. All of a sudden, she had a vision of him there, turning towards her, smiling. It was like being sucker punched in the stomach. She steadied herself, and stepped inside. She moved closer, and saw them . Those stupid plastic dinosaurs...she couldn't believe the Captain had left them there. Smiling to herself, she moved closer, reaching out to touch one of them. Picking it up. Suddenly, she heard his voice...

_"I am a leaf on the wind..."_ , saw what happened next. Her body shook, and she screamed in anguish...throwing the dinosaur across the room, grabbing on to the chair, to keep herself from falling to her knees.

"I see you everywhere." she sobbed, clinging to the chair. "At night, when i'm in bed, i...i feel you next to me. i feel your breath on my neck. i roll over, and expect you to be there, and...there's nothing. Not a goram thing." her sobs intensified.

Mal, had arrived in the passage shortly after she had entered the helm. Seeing her there, he had intended on leaving as silently as possible. Until she screamed. She might kick his backside for it, but he went to her then...if she railed against him, so be it. Maybe laying him out would make her feel better. He put his hands on her shoulders. She continued to cry, nearly breathless.  
"Oh, _wuh de mah. _I just miss him so...much." Her hand covered Mal's on her shoulder. "I've been shot...stabbed. Beat down to within an inch of my life...but i've never...felt anything like this before." She fell to her knees, her hand still resting on the back of the chair...as if it was the one last link she had to her husband. Mal joined her on the ground...he held her. "I know. I know."

Several minutes passed, and they remained there in silence. Finally, Mal followed her lead, and got back to his feet. Without saying a word, he started to head out through the doorway, intent on giving her back her privacy, when she called after him. "Cap'" He looked back at her. "Thank you." she said. He nodded, and continued out into the corriodor.

She remained there, gazing out into the blackness, wanting to see one last time, what he saw.There was a beauty to it. The vastness of space.

She took a deep breath, wiping the tears from her eyes, and she walked towards the hatch. Stopping, she turned to look back at the pilot's chair. She saw him there...smiling. But, it didn't hurt quite so badly this time to see it. She watched as the image slowly faded. "Goodbye, _bao bei.."_

Leaving the empty chair behind her, she walked away.


End file.
